Kevin’s Dark Reflection

Kermit and Constantine have nothing to do with it. This was to start the story off that reflections in the mirror, can hurt in a way.

It’s, (the picture), from: http://borg.com/2014/04/07/muppets-most-wanted-brings-classic-muppet-humor-to-theaters/

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(This printed e-mail of Veronica Secova, which is one of the 1,200 classified Soveren files, describes the whole interview about Kevin’s hexed mirror)

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To: gloria_descendant@yahoo.com

Subject: Kevin-Grrrr!! Why is he here?!!!

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When Kevin bought that mirror, nobody told him it was cursed.

At least, that’s what he told me just now. Anyway, here is this whole interview between Kevin and Astor all about it. I know it was supposed to be private, if they have intimate conversations together-which seems rare-but I have their permission to type it all down.

Interview:

(Astor comes into the interrogation room where Kevin is held. At the desk in front, he sits down on the black leather chair in front of the desk, and puts down a playing cassette tape on the table.)

Kevin (Smiling): I know what you expect me to say.

Astor (looking suspicious): Oh, really. Now I see everything. You indirectly tried to annihilate our roof over our heads, put Eva Marioca’s constant Spoiled-Rotten Hurricane into a Catagory 5, and now you tell me that you know what I’m gonna expect you to say? (Sighs). Fine. Fire away.

Kevin: You expect me to say: “This is not legit! I demand a phone call, Astor Hans Delion Zodian! Or I will yell for my lawyer!”

Astor: Too bad, Mr. Anderson. There is no cell service in this room, and every wall in this place, including the door, is completely soundproof, and mind-reading proof. So your lawyer won’t save you from this. (He then hesitates for a moment) Wait, how did you know my full name?

Kevin (still annoyingly smiling): I snuck into your birth certificate. And your passports. And every private document you own.

Astor (blushing & gritting his teeth): Anyway. So, question 1: Where did you get that mirror?

Kevin (stops smiling): Oh, simple. From that thrift shop that just opened up in Elmhurst, Queens, in NYC.

Astor: Okay. But I thought you were there to get some of the objects needed for your inventions.

Kevin: I was. But then I saw the mirror, and I nearly dropped my box of my groceries.

Astor (confused): Why? It was just a circle-shaped, adult-sized mirror, with white wood underneath.

Kevin: Yeah, but it wasn’t there a minute ago. Weird, right?

Astor: Kevin, you do realize if that thing hadn’t been there a minute ago, it’s kinda something you don’t shrug off as normal.

Kevin: I know, so I asked the cashier if that was something new that was just delivered to the place. The cashier then said yes.

Astor (again looking suspicious): What did the cashier look like?

Kevin: She was thin, with dark shoulder-length curly hair, green eyes, pale skin, red lipstick, Roman nose, wearing a dark gray T-shirt, fingernails with black nail polish. (Then looks suspicious as well). Why? You want to date her?

Astor (calming down): Just asking.

Kevin: So, I asked her how much did it cost, and she looked surprised, I guess, that I wanted to buy it so soon. Then she said ” Twenty dollars, along with the thirty dollars for your objects.” I fished out a fifty-dollar bill, gave it to her, and left the store with ease…and dread.

Astor (worried): Why did you say dread?

Kevin (remaining calm): I said dread because i felt it as I got back to my lab. Like something bad was gonna happen at any moment. But i didn’t think it was something important. because it faded out as I got closer to it. When I arrived, it was gone.

Astor (calm): Okay…Then what happened.

Kevin (shrugging): My droid Will, who saw the mirror, then joked,” Wow, Kevin. Along with a box of stuff you could use to hurt yourself, a mirror to remind you how messy, you really are!” I told him to shut up afterward. Next I put the mirror to place, saving it as a gift for the girls in the Red Cabin. You know, to faithfully decorate their walls with mirrors.”

Astor (nodding as he understood, then looks at the cassette tape): Then that’s when the trouble started.

Kevin: Yeah, I’m sure that’s how I’ll put it as. So, after I put it in to place, looked at myself in there and said, as a joke,” Wow, I look fantastic.” I looked and saw Will roll his eyes at me. Then…then…

Astor (getting a bit impatient): Then, what?

Kevin (Sighs): My reflection changed…At least my reflection blurred away for five seconds, and then my reflection came back, just that the outfit and the background changed. The new reflection wore a black robe, Darth Vader-style. And the background was just the color of burgundy. Both Will and I were completely shocked.

Astor (a little freaked out): Did that…thing say anything.

Kevin (starting to get scared): He did. And he was scary as a ghost…he said,” So…how’s the business?” I know this sounds innocent-

Astor (a little irritated): -To the point it doesn’t sound freaky at all!

Kevin (trying to make his point): Look, just hang on, okay? The guy said it, in a tone that would make you grab something to defend yourself with. In fact, his presence really scared me. He then began torturing me verbally, saying I had to admit that I was stupid, that I was inferior. At first, I was like, ” Whatever, man.” Then, as the minutes pass, it began to eat away at me. And weirdly, the mirror was stuck on the wall. I tried to pry it out, even with a crowbar. He then began demanding ransom. My first reaction was,” Get it yourself, loser.” I began getting out of the lab for longer periods of time to avoid it, but he’d always begin once I come back. But I was patient with it, thinking, I’ll let this guy exhaust himself in there, and then once he’s tired, I’ll get him away myself. Finally, at 8:30 pm exactly, he threatened that if I didn’t give in the money, he would kill Reyna, our friend. At that time, I was at the verge of losing my mind. Will deactivated, leaving me alone, so I grabbed the nearest thing I could strike him down with, which was a hammer, and I threw it at him, screaming,” LEAVE HER ALONE!!!” (pauses to stop, and brush a tear away).

Astor (feeling pity): Okay. Then…

Kevin: I ended up inside that mirror.

Astor (confused): How?

Kevin: As the hammer flew towards the guy the mirror, I felt myself get sucked into the mirror. The next thing I knew, I was in a thin place; I couldn’t move at all, much less get out. And to make things even worse, I saw the guy at the place that I was in, grinned, as he got a metal stick, which I realized as he turned it on, that it was a lightsaber. (getting slightly hyperventilated). Then, he looked at me said,” As much as I would like to slash that mirror to pieces and kill you, I have a mass reaping to attend.” He looked at the elevator that leads to and from my lab, and ran to it. Once he was inside it, he then said,” Ciao!” and…you know what happened next.

Astor (remembering): The guy then started attacking the entire camp…(then grows a bit curious). Ok, then how were you able to get out. Your reflection, I can’t explain why, showed up on my shield while fighting that idiot non-stop.

Kevin (joking around): Maybe you needed to take a shower.

Astor: I was wearing a black T-shirt saying ‘ I FIND YOUR LACK OF SARCASM DISTURBING’. You, meanwhile were wearing a white polo shirt.

Kevin: I still don’t know how you wash it so clean, it becomes your second mirror, but anyway I’ll tell you. For a while, I screamed, until I knew I was going nowhere. Literally. Then, I spent a few minutes cussing and swearing, being angry at myself and all. After I grew tired of doing so, I realized the suffocating trap I’m in expanded.

Astor (not getting it): So your profanity caused your mirror trap to…get larger?

Kevin (understanding his confusion): Yeah. Crazy right? Anyway. I saw portals that could lead to anyway-even your fashion mirror.

Astor (concerned): That is largely inappropriate. And I DON’T have a fashion mirror.

Kevin: Don’t worry. The passage to there were all unavailable, and I wasn’t all that interested. I was trying to find a way to communicate with you. Though you have the brain the size of banana slices.

Astor (very sarcastic): Yeah, yet you let a terrorist into an unprepared open house. You know what we call that here?

Kevin: Invited Wildlings?

Astor: No. We call that a Stupid Invasion.

Kevin: Anyway, I found that the passage to your shield completely available. Then I was like, Wait even that is a mirror? Then, I jumped into it, and ended up on your shield.

Astor (nodding): Ok. So, how did it feel?

Kevin: Completely disorienting. All the time, I feel like too many things were happening all at once. I guess that’s because the fight is.

Astor: Great. And let me conclude the story, since we both know it. You gave me a plan to vanquish the freak, which is to lure him to the mirror, and replace your position in there. And then, on his own he was sent away to God-knows-where, and we destroyed the mirror, despite it no longer hosting any creeps wanting to destroy things whenever they feel like it. Did I get it all down?

Kevin: Everything except that I got my Samsung 6 taken away for a few weeks. And that alone is taking forever!

Astor: Chillax, you big baby. You’ll survive. (looks at his watch). Anyway, you’re dismissed.

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That’s the entire interview. Pls leave a message after you read this.

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